My life before living with God was a sad and lonely one, I suffered at the hands of my biological father for many years, and I was crushed into silence for thirty eight years.

The abuse that I had suffered only came to light after I had two mental breakdowns, due to the punitive, violent and abusive relationships that I had with whom were replicas of my biological father. My life before living with Jesus was Hell on earth, as I had no self- respect and no self- worth- I used Alcohol to hide the pain and debauchery to look for love.

In 1995, I tried to take my own life with sleeping pills and alcohol; this is when I was first diagnosed by a Psychiatrist. My recovery includes Psychotherapy with “Indigo Hampshire” (this is a therapeutic programme for women who have suffered Childhood trauma) Indigo also works with male clients. I joined alcoholics’ anonymous because of my dependency on alcohol, and I was so desperately out of control because of raging anger that I needed Cognitive Psychological Behavioural Therapy.

All of these things gave me an understanding of why my life was like it was- but there was something missing- I still had that dull ache inside of feeling so alone and the pain in my heart just would not stop. –until I met Jesus.

I was baptised on September 4th 2005 at Testwood Baptist Church

I stand here in front of you all today, as a true Disciple of Jesus Christ.
I believe that he has been near me for many years, waiting for my cry for him to help me. I believe that for many years Jesus has watched and waited.
I believe that Jesus was with me as I suffered.
I believe that Jesus felt the pain of everything that I have.
I believe that Jesus saw me weep, bleed and broken.
I believe that Jesus felt every blow of violence and anger toward me, and I believe that he wept with me.

I have been Baptised and cleansed with the blood of Christ, I stand here before you all today, strong in his strength. I am brand new, Cleansed in his love and clothed in his beauty.

For two years I helped the police build the case against my Father and his associates;
I spent hours and hours with God as he prepared me for the trauma of the trial, studying Gods word and finding my answers in his scripture that was to prepare me for the battle that I was to endure in that courtroom.

Without the word of God in my heart I would not have had the strength or the knowledge to stand in that court room destroying the evil that my biological father and his companions’ created.

I stood in that courtroom for four days delivering my evidence, I re-lived the trauma, and I was not afraid because I knew that Jesus was with me, I knew that God would form the words in my mouth that delivered my answers, The words that were to set me free Those words that were the truth. I said- as God is my witness, my father did these things to me,

I have no guilt and no shame; I have no anger and no pain, because of the love of Jesus,
I have been cleansed in his name through Baptism.
I have gained his Strength because I follow the word of God.

In Psalm 116:1 it is written,

1, I love the lord, for he heard my cry for mercy,
2, because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.

My message to all of you is thus, look up to God for strength to turn away from all sin, and stop justifying your own behaviour to make it right for you, I urge you to make it right in the eyes of God.

On my weakest days I would read and meditate in the word of God. If I was full of agitation because for the want of alcohol, I watched a DVD “The Passion of the Christ” I did this over and over again.

My desire and will to follow God is strong- and I feel the love that he has for me in every moment of the day. I have been delivered and I praise God everyday for his strength in me- and for his love for me.

My life is peaceful now, the battle is over and I have won, and all because of the passion of the Christ Jesus who was beaten, and flogged and left to die on that cross, along with my sin.

Praise God for giving us his beautiful Son.

Mia