LINDA MATTHEWS

I was born and raised in Twickenham. Although I was brought up in a non-Christian home, I always thought that there was a God, and when I was 12 started going to a church youth club and also to church and I got confirmed when I was 14, although it meant very little to me then.

By the time I was about 19 I had gradually drifted away. I married my first husband Dave when I was 21 and had my older 2 children Paul and Alison, then we split after about 8-9 years.

After a few moths I met Ross, who was a single parent living with his 3 children who were 9, 14 and 15 at the time. We moved to Holbury in January 1985 and got married. I thought we were going to be a big happy family.

Things didn’t go smoothly, we had lots of problems and I couldn’t cope. The Lord gradually started surrounding me with Christians – I didn’t realise many of them were Christians until later. Also my brother had become a Christian and he and a friend used to fast and pray for me one lunchtime a week. During this time my brother got married at Kings School – Community church – the other side of Southampton. We went to the wedding – as a close relative I was sat very near the front, all these songs were being sung that were really nice and out of the corner of my eye I could see people with their hands raised etc – I had never seen anything like it before. Also during the singing I felt a tremendous sense of wanting to cry – I didn’t feel emotional about my brother getting married and I couldn’t understand it – of course, I realised later it was the Holy Spirit.

Anyway things got worse and I even considered suicide. Then about 2 weeks after this wedding someone gave me a tract – “Knowing God Personally”. I sat down at home and read it, prayed the prayer and I immediately felt as if huge weights had been lifted from my shoulders. I had a wonderful 3 week “honeymoon” period where I felt such a tremendous joy and peace. And I found the church at Hardley.

Things didn’t immediately change, but I found the strength in God to carry on and he gave me loads of scriptures – my favourite at the time was Phil 4 v 6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus".

Also we had Jonathan about a year after that. Once we take that step in becoming a Christian, God doesn’t just leave us where we are and everything’s hunky dory – he wants to deal with issues and all the sin in our lives. He wants us to grow. When I gave my life to the Lord I was so grateful to Him I said Lord I want to serve you.

One of the major issues in my life I had to deal with was rejection. This is a feeling of not being loved and accepted. The enemy had a stronghold over my life in that area for many years. It seemed to be especially at church – its very irrational in the way it makes you think. I battled to be free from it for ages – reading scriptures, declaring stuff and having prayer whenever I could.

Eventually, it was while all the Toronto stuff was going on I gradually began to find some freedom, but then something would happen and I’d lose it again. I can’t really pinpoint exactly when and where it happened, but one Sunday morning in church I prayed out loud – “I thank you Lord that the pastor and all the leaders love and accept me and I thank you that everyone here loves and accepts me. And if there’s anyone here who doesn’t love and accept me its their problem and not mine”. Since that day I have known with out doubt that I am totally free!!

Just to back track slightly, when I gave my heart to the Lord back in 1986 I said Lord I want to serve you and I was always wanting to help in any way I could. In about 1991 I took over running our Toddler group, which I did for about 3 years. When I stopped doing that I said Lord what can I do now? He said to me “one day this church is going to need an administrator and that’s the role I have for you”.

I waited quite a while for that to come about - I think the Lord wanted to sort out all the rejection stuff first. Eventually I took over the role and at first I didn’t do very much, just a few tasks and sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring. I got a bit fed up with it at times but I really believed it was God’s plan for me so I hung on. Then on 21st November 1999 we had a visiting speaker - a man with a tremendous and well-respected prophetic ministry. He had a word that I would administrate God’s purposes at Hardley and elsewhere. This renewed my vision and gave me fresh hope that this was right for me.

For the last few years, I have been kept very busy and given more responsibility. I have learnt so much including how to use a PC and also about attitude! It’s no good serving God if your attitude is wrong! Now as well as being the church administrator I am also secretary for the Waterside Christian Group of churches, administrating God’s purposes in the local area. Also, for about a year now, I help with administration for Emmanuel in Uganda, which I’m very excited about, as I visited Uganda in 1994 and have had a heart for the country ever since.

I know things are not perfect in every area of my life – we all have our problems and struggles – but I am very fulfilled in what I do and I love serving my God.

Having worked in the church as administrator for 9 years, I felt the time was right to step down. Some of you will have heard Tim’s excellent preaches about sheep. One point he raised as he spoke was that when the sheep have eaten all the grass in one field the shepherd then moves the sheep on to a new pasture. To me that meant that I have given all I can to the administration of New Hope and now is the time to move on to something new; which will also make room for God to raise up others to take on the administration of the church alongside Amanda.

For the time being I am taking a complete break, and then I will be seeking God as to what He wants me to do next.

Linda